Gag Humor Here

: Instead of "The River," try something like "A Guinea Pig Became a Father to 400 After Breaking Into a Female Enclosure".

: Give personality to inanimate objects—like a military backpack filled with "self-loathing". Gag Humor

Your headline should be the "anchor" for your humor. It should clearly communicate the funny idea without being overly clunky or cryptic. : Instead of "The River," try something like

: Group those ideas into coherent paragraphs that escalate the absurdity. : Instead of "The River

: Readers often find sarcasm mean-spirited; it’s safer and more relatable to use self-deprecation instead.